No Alisson, no party? It’s all going wrong for Liverpool…

Send your mails to…


Liverpool’s party
As a 26 year old Liverpool whose waited his whole life to watch Liverpool win the title i’ve got a bit of a concern that our 30 year wait for the title is going to be Henderson lifting the trophy in front of an empty stadium.

The corona virus is having an unprecedented impact around the world. In Australia shops have been closing and we’ve been going through the crisis of a nationally shortage of toilet paper, which has escalated to the point that one lady pulled a knife over the last shit ticket on sale and also led a bloke to putting a cop in a headlock and getting tasered.

People are taking this virus seriously, Italy’s decided that all sport for the next month is going to be played behind closed doors and i cant help feel that other countries may follow suit if their infection rates climb to Italy’s levels.

So what do you reckon the chances are that Liverpool would be lifting the premier league trophy for the first time since football started, and something that most of our fans have been waiting 30 years to see?

End of the day though, even if we were to win it infront of an empty stadium it wouldn’t matter. We’ll have finally broke the drought and i reckon that if anfields empty there would be at least 50,000 people waiting outside for the trophy to be brought out.

Life’s as a Liverpool fan has been the best since I’ve been alive. Who cares that we’ve lost 3 out of the last 4 games. We’re the champions of Europe and even if we get knocked out of the champions league next week we’ll have made 2 finals out of the last 3 seasons and we’re about to win the league.

All i know is that there’s a weekend coming up that up i’m going to be at a bar between 2 & 3am with a bunch of sick c*nts enjoying the best night of my life.
Andy, Melbourne, LFC (YNWA)


Everybody panic
So Alisson is out of the next two games at least? Let it be known that I am full on panicking now, and I don’t care who knows/mocks it
Dan, Plastic LFC


Ole having the last laugh on ABU365
Whisper it but it’s looking like Solskjaer has been the right appointment all along. ABU365 seems to pride itself on “not being sure about Ole” and fans of other clubs seem to use the Treble winner as a punchline to a joke nobody’s telling but are his critics just, well… wrong? This isn’t United turning a corner. This is the same direction, same worn road, same driver, same car, same roadblocks and potholes… just now there are a couple of upgrades. Only a couple, mind.

When Ole took the position permanently he gave a clear message on the way he wanted to rebuild the culture of the club and success on the pitch (it was so clear in fact that ABU365 mocked him for it at every opportunity, shoe-horning it into any article whether it involved United or not) – he wanted young, hungry, British players. In essence he was saying that there wasn’t enough players who understood or cared about this great club. He needed them willing to fight because the job on his hands had already felled three considerably more experienced managers before him. He needed to shift the deadwood but equally he needed replacements.

We know Ed Woodward failed Ole spectacularly in not replacing Lukakau.. or Sanchez… or Herrera… A case could even be made that it was a failure to not replace Fellaini or Smalling. Woodward spent big on Maguire, AWB and James but did not address the remaining gaping holes in the squad. Woodward ignored the enormous preening dabbing elephant in the room because money. Ole kept smiling (and was regularly accused of being simple) and got on with the job.

The squad still isn’t perfect but you’re seeing what Solskjaer wants to do, how he wants United to play and how he wants to push on. It’s almost like you can’t rebuild a seven year collapse in two transfer windows. It’s almost like smiling in front of the press and refusing to belittle his players has no bearing on what he actually says to them behind closed doors. It’s almost like he knows that he can’t beat the Glazers or Woodward but that he can do more good from inside Old Trafford than outside as an onlooker, cast out. It doesn’t make him complicit to the wanton destruction caused by the parasites above him.

What I’m saying (and taking a good while to do so) is we’re seeing a relatively inexperienced manager being handed the reigns at the biggest club in the country and being asked to perform the impossible, in a goldfish bowl, with one hand tied behind his back, against a backdrop of gnashing teeth and a cacophony of hooting… and a website run by Statler and Waldorf. Whisper it, but he’s looking like he’s doing alright.
William Douglas Foster, Stretford


Wayne too willing
I just belatedly read the Athletic’s piece on the highs and lows of the relationship between Wayne Rooney and Alex Ferguson – very worthwhile read for anybody with a few minutes to spare today.

I was absolutely blown away by the revelation as to the extent of Rooney’s injury before the CL second leg against Bayern in 2010 (he arrived at the stadium on crutches and in a space boot and played for 55 mins), and by the fact that he has worn strapping on his right ankle ever since. I’ve read more than a few United fans refer to this as a sliding doors moment in his career before, and anyone who saw him for the first half of that season would likely acknowledge that he had finally kicked on and looked like being the absolute star he always threatened to be. It’s impossible to deny that he never caught fire in the same way after that injury (despite a few sustained bursts of goalscoring here and there), and United and England carried him in a lot of the games remaining that season. Essentially, Rooney as a elite-level player was finished by the age of 26 because of his willingness to push through injuries to return for the business end of the season and to be fit for England duty.

As Harry Kane desperately steps up his late-Spring rehabilitation from a significant injury for the umpteenth time, you’ve got to worry about how long he can keep running through brick walls, even though he (allegedly) appears to take far better care of his body in all other respects. It’d be a crying shame not to get to see him reach the very top of his profession because of his own dedication to the cause.



Coleen in a caravan
Surely I can’t be the only one who noticed Wayne Rooney with a beard looks exactly how Nike imagined he might in their 2010 World Cup “Write the Future” advert

I wonder how Coleen is enjoying life in the caravan?
Seán Cooper, Dublin


Kane concern
For Alan, Cordoba, the answer is a buyout clause in the contract that varies based on the club’s league position (and possibly, on the remaining length of contract). So for example, if the club is in Champion’s League, clause is £150mln, in Europa league £120mln, out or Europe altogether, £100mln. This gives an incentive to the club to invest in the team to keep the standards high, knowing that any money they save from being miserly in investment could be lost by losing their star asset cheaply. You might ask, why would the club sign such a deal? Well, no one is forcing them to, and if they don’t they anyway risk losing their player for free (vs saving 100k/ week = 5mln/year over 3 years, which is a comparatively measly 15mln). That’s modern player power for you.

Incidentally, does anyone else find it weird how football players’ salaries are quoted? Anywhere else, most people’s pay is stated yearly, or for high-paid professionals (eg lawyers), hourly rates. In all cases the figures quoted are gross (ie pre-tax). In continental Europe it seems like salaries are quoted yearly, but net (ie after tax), so for example Ronaldo’s salary is quoted at €30mln / yr, but in reality it would be around €60mln / yr (ie what Juventus are paying him). In the UK it seems a throwback to a bygone age that salaries are quoted as weekly wages, as if the players were on 6-month contracts or were casual workers. And is that net or gross?
James, Switzerland


Hall of shame
In response to David LFC, surely El Hadji Diouf would be top of anyone’s list pf inductees. He has quite the record: 5 counts of spitting at fans or players, charged with motoring offences, standing over and taunting an injured player on the pitch, a failure to turn up for a pre-season tour without reason, arrested for a 5 man brawl in Manchester and sent off against Brighton for making obscene gestures towards the away fans. Then we come to his quite comical repeated jibes at Carragher (calling him a turkey) and Gerrard and he really has written his legend into the hall of shame, it must be said. The man simply doesn’t give a f*ck. He’s a first class b£llEnd and he knows it.
Harry B.


Right of reply
Dear Ash: I’m going to try and make sense of your email even though it is actually senseless.

If you’re going to cherry pick stats for expensive players (3 x £50m plus FB’s….), then go right ahead. How about Naby Keita for £59m, including clauses? Virgil van Dijk for £75m (a WR fee)? Alisson for an initial £56m, rising to £66.8M? Fabinho for £40m? Sala for £40m? Alex Oxlade Chamberlain for £35m? Mo Salah for £38m? Sadio Mane for £40m, etc. I think I’ve made my point. All top teams have to spend money on buying players so it’s pretty silly to point the finger at us when you know your team has too, especially as two of your players exceed our record transfer.

So, “At best we have 14 first team players, the rest are pretty rubbish or kids. You have about 30…” I’m pretty sure that the likes of Milner, Shaqiri, Oxlade Chamberlain, Joel Matip and Lallana would be delighted as being described as pretty rubbish. What you MEANT to say that that these are squad players and that they are all internationals to a man. So, not rubbish, then. Can I also point out that all clubs are allowed a 25 man squad for the Premier League, with as many kids as you wish to also throw in to the mix.

Not “30” in the squad, as you’ve asserted. On the contrary, the same as everyone else including Liverpool.

We are 22 points behind because we haven’t been as good as previous seasons whereas you have had the best Premier League season that you’ve ever had and one that’s almost up there with the very best (can I point out that you finished 25 points behind us in 2017/18 when WE had an 18 match winning run? No? Oh well…). I didn’t deny that and I said that I only hoped some of our records didn’t fall and that I’d conceded the PL title in early December. A baseless assertion that we were “scared” is just ridiculous to the point of nonsense and actually makes me question your age.

If I’m honest, I could really have gone to town on you but I didn’t think F365 would like that so I haven’t.

The strange thing here is that I’m not having a pop at Liverpool, I’m actually on the fans side because we all love a Wembley trip. If you weren’t so hysterically reactionary, you’d see that.

Kind Regards
‘Fluffy’ Levenshulme Blue, Manchester 19


It’s been a while since I’ve written in about the Northern Premier League. Things have started to stratify: South Shields have a five-point lead at the top of the table, with eight points separating Basford United in second from Scarborough in eighth for the four playoff places. At the bottom of the table, Stafford Rangers are in danger of getting cut adrift, and while Atherton Collieries are also in peril, they have five games in hand on Grantham Town, who are four points ahead of them.

Since their early season promise, the Gingerbreads have slipped steadily down the table and find themselves well and truly in the mire. Ten days ago, managers Paul Rawden and Russ Cousins, along with their assistant Adam Smith, resigned from the club, having been in charge for a year. During that time, they used 120 different players, failed to win a single away game in the league, used increasingly rudimentary tactics and left Town with the worst goal difference in the league (-31 from 30 games). All of these are legitimate concerns for supporters.

Last weekend midfielder Danny Racchi took caretaker charge along with Scott Goodwin, and Grantham recorded a 2-0 victory over Stalybridge Celtic; Racchi proved himself the quintessential player-manager by starting on the bench and bringing himself on. Earlier this week, former Buxton manager Martin McIntosh was appointed, with Racchi returning to the playing corps. Fittingly enough, McIntosh’s first game in charge is away at Atherton Collieries tomorrow afternoon.

Victory for either side will give them a huge boost at the expense of a near rival, on a weekend when the teams above them could drop points. Entering the final stretch of the season, every point is crucial.

Enjoy your weekend everyone,
Ed Quoththeraven


For some bizarre reason, the F365 Show still hasn’t been cancelled. So we’ll be back every Thursday with more irreverent nonsense intriguing insight. Subscribe here.

Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *